He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize