you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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