Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
