Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
