Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
