hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
