Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
