found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
