is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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