I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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