you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
