just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What a dumb baby whore.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
40s are totally the cure
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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