So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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