Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
two words: eviction party
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
