Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize