she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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