I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
