I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
