yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
