We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
