Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think people are normalizing furries
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
