let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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