The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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