It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
