i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
whose parrot is this?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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