you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize