In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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