I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So. Much. Porn.
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