I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
