Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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