Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
