Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
