He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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