Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize