May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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