oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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