I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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