We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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