I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
