he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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