Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im six kinds of drunk right now
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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