please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
