i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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