That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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