Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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