It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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