He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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