i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
