Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
