she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
