All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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