Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
