I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
