Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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