am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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