Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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