her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
